The first of all of them (just two) is the fact that you stop talking or writing in your mother language and as a consequence you start forgeting about it. Some people might think that this is something impossible, however I correct them and tell you that it IS possible. As time passes and you start getting use of the language of the country you live, there comes a time, when you commence thinking in the foreign language (grammar). I have that problem with Polish. My grammar in Spanish sometimse is quite chaotic, because I try to literally translate word per word. In the end it comes out something like "la roja camisa" instead of "la camisa roja". Maybe this example wasn't a crucial one, nonetheless it happens to me often, what makes my Spanish pretty sloppy. About proverbs better don't say anything. I almost don't remember any of them. It's scary that I can't speak normally or without mistakes in my own mother language. It frustrates me a lot, because I come to a conclusion that I can't speak correctly in any language. Neither in English nor Polish nor Spanish. I feel really down knowing about this, but I can't really say it isn't my fault -I don't spend time with latins and I don't even search for them. So...it's my fault, yet it still bothers me a lot.
Another thing that makes me feel all gloomy, is that I don't know wich is my nationality. I know, it sound all snob, but it is true. I came to Poland at the age of thirteen and I can say that at that time I felt a hundred per cent mexican. However as my stay in Poland prolonged, I started thinking about it more and more and till today I can't say what I am. Why did it happen? In my behalf I can say it ocurred, because I came to Poland, when I was young ( I was starting my teens). I studied in a polish junior high school and high school, wich tought me about the polish culture (literature, food, customes, way of living) and since I have the ability to quickly adapt to my surroundings, without any problem I accept this new culture. This made forget quite a lot about the mexican way of living, what I miss, because I have good memories about it. Fortunatelly I have my mom at home, who helps me with it (at least with the celebrations and food. Thanks mom about it, specially the food). Once again I won't deny about it being my own fault, but I guess it is normal that you forget about some minor things about your first nationality, since you stop practicing or seeing them. It is quite sad, but that's how it works and I have to accept it.
As you can see I complained a little bit, but sometimes it feels nice to put out what you feel. I'm sorry I made you all of you read about it. However I think you can find it interesting since this is something not all of you have felt (yet). I hope you liked it and look forward for the next article. I hope the next one will be one full of positive energy!
