Something you can't help, but to notice

The last time I wrote I was quite pessimistic. I just pointed out the bad sides of living in a foreign country. This time though I'm going to write about the pluses of being a foreigner, which are at least two of them (they used to be three, but I forgot about the third, what may mean that it is not that important).

For the start I'm going to write about something I can't name, because lately I can't manage to remember a lot of words (maybe because of the holidays), so... The first good side of being a foreigner is that you get to know a completely different culture. You just see somethings with a different pair of glasses. You learn about the costumes and interests of the country you live in. For example, when I came to Poland I didn't use to wear slippers. I used to be on my sneakers or sandals in the whole house. Also another thing is that poles don't drink while eating their meals. In Mexico you always have some water or the most popular soda- Coca Cola. For me is almost imposible to eat without it, because I feel as if I were suffocating. However the poles don't have this need neither the one of using napkins. This for me is horrendous. I kind of eat like a pig, so whenever I'm munching my sandwich I need to have at least one napkin by my side. Polish people don't seem to have the urge to use them. On the contrary of me, they are neat and don't become dirty (or at least the people I got to know). I could keep going with the examples, but hey, I'm writting about the advantages of being a foreigner. What I wanted to say was that, thanks to the contact of differents cultures, you become an interesting person for the people around you and you become more knowledgeable, what open our minds and way of thinking.

The second one is that you appreciate more the things. You might ask why, but it is something that me, myself came to realize after arriving to Poland. And that is as simple as it's heard. When you live in a place since your birth, everything that surrounds you became something obvious like the fact that whenever a black cloud appears it means it will rain or as the case of the leaves turning yellow/orange when Autumn arrives or as the matter that there are cherries everywhere when it is Summer, what for poles is so undeniable as for us mexican eating each meal with tortilla (or at least most of them). Because of that, that it becomes an all days thing, we aren't able to appreciate the things that surround us. Living in a different place, that it's different from your country, helps you open the eyes and see more things than you did before. As they say "You never know what you have until you lose it". That's what happens in this case.

So summarizing, living in a different country teaches you a lot of value things. You get to know a new culture, what might open your horizons and think in a different way and you learn how to appreciate more the things that surround you. As I said in the begginig, my last article is quite pessimistic, but that doesn't mean, that I don't realize the good points. I can even say that I'm happy that I get to know a new world and that I'm glad I got that opportunity. It's just that sometimes I become melancholic and nostalgic, but I think, that it is something that all the foreigners suffer from. Concluding living in a different country has its pros and cons, but I might say that it has more good points that bad ones... What do you think?

Somethings you can't avoid

Today I will write about the things that I don't like about living in a different country. I know that it is not nice to complain about things, but these stuffs are something that bother me and make me feel down... a lot.

The first of all of them (just two) is the fact that you stop talking or writing in your mother language and as a consequence you start forgeting about it. Some people might think that this is something impossible, however I correct them and tell you that it IS possible. As time passes and you start getting use of the language of the country you live, there comes a time, when you commence thinking in the foreign language (grammar). I have that problem with Polish. My grammar in Spanish sometimse is quite chaotic, because I try to literally translate word per word. In the end it comes out something like "la roja camisa" instead of "la camisa roja". Maybe this example wasn't a crucial one, nonetheless it happens to me often, what makes my Spanish pretty sloppy. About proverbs better don't say anything. I almost don't remember any of them. It's scary that I can't speak normally or without mistakes in my own mother language. It frustrates me a lot, because I come to a conclusion that I can't speak correctly in any language. Neither in English nor Polish nor Spanish. I feel really down knowing about this, but I can't really say it isn't my fault -I don't spend time with latins and I don't even search for them. So...it's my fault, yet it still bothers me a lot.

Another thing that makes me feel all gloomy, is that I don't know wich is my nationality. I know, it sound all snob, but it is true. I came to Poland at the age of thirteen and I can say that at that time I felt a hundred per cent mexican. However as my stay in Poland prolonged, I started thinking about it more and more and till today I can't say what I am. Why did it happen? In my behalf I can say it ocurred, because I came to Poland, when I was young ( I was starting my teens). I studied in a polish junior high school and high school, wich tought me about the polish culture (literature, food, customes, way of living) and since I have the ability to quickly adapt to my surroundings, without any problem I accept this new culture. This made forget quite a lot about the mexican way of living, what I miss, because I have good memories about it. Fortunatelly I have my mom at home, who helps me with it (at least with  the celebrations and food. Thanks mom about it, specially the food). Once again I won't deny about it being my own fault, but I guess it is normal that you forget about some minor things about your first nationality, since you stop practicing or seeing them. It is quite sad, but that's how it works and I have to accept it.

As you can see I complained a little bit, but sometimes it feels nice to put out what you feel. I'm sorry I made you all of you read about it. However I think you can find it interesting since this is something not all of you have felt (yet). I hope you liked it and look forward for the next article. I hope the next one will be one full of positive energy!

The woman that fell in love with a God

“Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one”

(惚れて通えば千里も一里)

It was another chilly day of the wet autumn that had visited this little town situated far from the big city. It was late and the crescent moon was high in the sky hiding shyly behind the gray fluffy clouds that decorated the night. The stars were shining brightly as they have never done it before and the essence of the wet earth filled the whole mountains and town. A young woman was returning from her last day of job. She had quitted four days before, but she just had finished all her last tasks she was given that day. She was really excited that a big smile was written on her face. She had been waiting for this day after the week He had left, so she could not contain her enthusiasm. She turned left where the path divided in two without stopping like she had been doing since his departure.  She was carrying a rather heavy looking bag full of groceries, but it did not seem to bother, because she took it all the way to her home without making any pauses on her way to it. She passed by the rice fields and saluted the old man that was passing by. It was her landlord. He was stupefied by her behavior, because the last months she had been gloomy and with her head in the clouds that he had to reminded her about six times about her rent. She crossed the bridge and passed through the little town humming a song she had been listening non-stop. She passed by the plum tree and looked at it for a moment. She put her right hand on her heart and closed her eyes.

“I’m almost there, so just wait for me a little more” She said to the tree and opened her eyes having a pumped looked.

 She was so happy that she even helped her neighbor, with whom she had had a quarrel the last week and had not talked since then with him, with moving a new computer inside his house.  When she asked if he wanted help, he was suspicious, but since she seemed to be asking honestly he accepted her offer. Moreover he was mesmerized by her radiance she emitted that night that his face turned red for just having her at home for a while.

She left his house and directly ran to hers. She took off her coat and shoes and left them on the entry. She put some relaxing music and headed straight to her small kitchen, where she started boiling the rice and cutting some vegetables she wanted to add to it and had bought before. She prepared a full dinner for two persons and even the table had two sets of cutlery and glasses. She put some jasmines  on the vase that was in the middle of the table. When the pot with the dinner gave off a delicious aroma, she turned down the fire and went to take a shower. She came out and wore a beautiful kimono made of red silk boarded with jasmines, her favorite flower. She added some light make up, because she did not like it, and painted her lips with a scarlet red. Her hair was picked up with an adornment made of jasmines, because since the last time she had seen him, her hair had grown to her shoulders. She admired her reflection on the mirror and after deciding that she looked beautiful she went to the dinner room. She brought with her a bottle of sake and sat on the cushion. She served herself and the guest’s cup some sake. She held her cup of sake on her left hand and on the right a napkin with a white powder. She added this to her sake and before drinking it she raised her cup and said:

“Cheers!” and drank it  giving the beginning of the dinner.                   

She was happily enjoying her meal, when her hands started shaking and she was not able to move them. She was feeling dizzy and then she threw up some blood.  Somehow she managed to stand up by helping herself with the wall. She clumsily head to the window that faced the plum tree and opened it. A strong cold wind came through it and threw her on the floor. Her head bounced and when she tried to stand up she realized she was too weak to do that much. She turned her head to the window where the plum tree seemed to glow stronger than ever and gave a faint smile before closing her eyes forever.

By the time that her neighbor broke up her door to get inside, after hearing some dishes falling down, and tried to wake her up for her eternal sleep, the last leaf on the plum tree felt on the river. 

The leaf was pushed by the wind and by the watercourses of the river far away from the little town. It past a little waterfall, some bays and mountains until it finally met with the others leaves of the plum tree that were at the side of a lake, which was covered in a thick cloud of fog. There the leaves were surrounding the body of the young lady that had just died. She woke up when the last leaf touch her finger and wiping her eyes she took a look at her location. She did not seem to know what had happened to her and stood there for a while feeling lost until a little white fox caressed her left leg. She was perplexed at the beginning, but immediately her eyes sparkled and started following the little fox that had entered the dark forest that was in front of her. The little fox had led her to a maze made of violet, pink and white azalea bushes. She went inside and searched for a way out, but after a long while she started feeling frustrated. Suddenly a wind blew bringing a sweet scent she recognized very well and followed it. She managed to pass through it thanks to it and when she came out from it she saw him. He was wearing a white kimono and a deep blue and white hakama shita. He was waiting for her with his hand extended. He smiled at her warmly as He had always done.

“Come here” He said to her and She ran to where He was and jumped at him. He held her and after they stared at each other for a brief moment they kissed.

“I really missed your kisses. They really taste like honey” She said with a smile and they kissed once again on that forest full of beautiful azaleas and many more wonders.

The God who fell in love with a woman

This story happened in a clear night of spring.  The big moon was low and so bright that it made visible all the camps of rice and roads.  He was standing in front of the road’s sings that divide the path in two. He was wearing a black silk kimono and had his long silver hair picked up with a pigtail. The moonlight enveloped his presence making him look more unlikely to a human. His profile was so gorgeous and mesmerizing that the young lady that happened to pass by after a long day at work stood there looking at him fascinated. She admired him for long time and surely would have done that a little bit longer if a warm wind that brought the sweet essence of the cherry blossoms had not blown. She took a deep breath to try to do not forget this magical moment. She sighed what made him realize about her being there, because when she did that, he jumped and turned his way to her looking astounded.  His face was far more beautiful than she had thought. His face was skinny, his cheekbone was highlighted and his lips were thin and delicate. His eyes were almond shaped and like the honey. Although his glance was smart, his eyes gave her a warm she knew… She got the feeling that she had seen them somewhere before, yet she could not seem to remember where from. She felt as if she had been under a spell, because she could not take her eyes from his, so when He smiled at her she felt all her face turning red of embarrassment.  He chuckled, what made her more frustrated. She did not like to be the reason to laugh at, but this feeling disappeared as soon as He opened his mouth.

“I am sorry if I made you feel uneasy. It is just that I had not seen for a long time someone being so abashed and looking charming at the same time that I could not help but to trouble you. I sincerely apologized” He said bowing his head.

“It’s alright. It didn’t really bother me. Well, maybe a little, but…” She was at a loss for words, what was uncommon for her, someone who was a really talkative person. Once again He chuckled.

“You do not have to be formal and lie to me. I will not get mad” He tried to assured her, what truly did help her.

“Sorry, I don’t usually lie, while trying to be polite” She justified herself. “What’s more important, are you lost? You’ve been standing in front of these sings since I came out from the train at that stop” She said and pointed the train station she came from. “I live here and I know this entire little town by heart. I can help you if you wish.” She offered him help and gave him a small smile. This time He seemed to fluster, but quickly regained his composure.

“That will be really lovely and helpful! I came to see someone, but it has been a long time since the last time I was here, that I completely do not know, where is what it was supposed to be.  Furthermore I really do not have a great sense of orientation, so that just complicates more my situation.” He shyly smiled at his incompetence.

“Were you here before?” She asked shocked, but with more interested, because that meant that she had met him before. However she still did not know where from she had seen him.

“Oh well, it was a long time ago. I even think that the person I came to see has already forgotten about me” He said with painful eyes looking at the clear starry sky, as if he was remembering something from the past.
“I´m pretty sure, that the person hasn’t done that” She tried to console him, but sincerely she could not manage to imagine someone forgetting someone so gorgeous and elegant as He was, so her words were honest.

“Maybe you are right.” He said as if trying to convince himself about that.

“So, where do you want to go? To which place or to whose house? I mean it’s really small here, so we just have a small inn and most of the people that come are visitors of some locals…” She said.

“I am looking for the plum tree…If it still is alive and somewhere there” He answered a little bit worried about hearing that it could have been chopped down.

“A plum tree?” She answered with her big dark eyes looking at him intensively. He blushed seeing her so close to him. He turned his face signalizing at the mountains to hide his self-consciousness.

“There it used to be a big plum tree that used to bloom around this season. The people use to believe it was a God and so they built a shrine there. Is it still alive?” He answered her.

“Oh! That plum tree! Yes, it’s still there showing its beauty and greatness. It’s this way. I can take you there, because it’s just a little before my house” She exclaimed and turned to the left indicating him to follow her.

“I should say that there is no shrine like it used to be. About five years ago it was taken down, since no one visited it. I think just a few people went there. I always went there once per month, so I was really sad when it was destroyed. However the plum tree was kept and that at least makes me happy. I really like going to that tree. It’s really calming and I feel as if it was protecting me with its crown. Oh, sorry. I kind of started talking without your concern… I kind of talk a lot, so…yeah…” She felt flustered and she started explaining herself once again.

He chuckled.

“Hey! I’m serious. There are a lot of people that say that I could talk for hours and I would always find a topic to talk about. Some people don’t like it, so if you feel uncomfortable say so please” She scolded him.

“It is fine. I do not mind hearing you talking. I am far a better listener than a smooth talker like you. I enjoy looking at all the mimics and gestures people do as they talk. It fascinates me, so do not worry. You can talk a lot and I would not get bored from it” He comforted.

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better, but thanks.” She said unsure. “One more thing, who did come to see? I might tell you where that person lives and give you a map to find your way out from this town” She asked.

By that time they were passing by the rice fields that were dancing at the rhythm of the wind.

“How do you know I am not a bad person with dark intentions?” He asked her giving her a mischievous smile.

“I don’t know why, but I think I’ve met you before and your eyes tell me that you are someone of trust. So that’s why I’m showing you the way to that plum tree.” She answered a little bit shyly at hearing how cozy it sounded. He smiled.

“Oh I see… “It was all He managed to say.

They crossed the bridge and started walking the road, which was next to the river and had cherry blossoms on its side, in silence. On the river the glamorous and huge moon was reflected. The fireflies were at the river banks making all this view more beautiful than it was. Another wind blew inside the road bringing with it the sweet fragrance of the cherry trees. She stopped, closed her eyes and once again took a deep breath to burn this moment on her mind.

“Do you like spring?” She heard him asking her.

She opened her eyes and just realized that He was far from her. She went to where He was.

“I do. However my favorite season is autumn. When the leaves are yellow, red and orange and they make a fluffy lay on the floor it’s the best. And the weather also it’s great, because it isn’t neither really cold like in winter neither hot like in summer, but it’s more chilly than spring, therefore I like it more. And you? Do you like spring or do you prefer other season?”

“No. My favorite season is spring, because it brings me the happiest memories I have” He answered and looked at the sky once again as if He were longing to return to that time.

She watched his profile, what reminded her that She felt that she had met him before, but could not remember.

“Have we met before?” She asked looking at him intensively and expecting an answer.

He was startled, but quickly returned to his warm and reassuring smile.

“Have we?” He answered her with a question.

“I’m pretty sure, that I haven’t seen you before, but your eyes… I have seen your eyes somewhere before, but right now I can’t remember where and it is killing me.” She said honestly and exasperatedly.

He chuckled, what made her angry, since She expected a real answer.

“Now, now… Please do not be mad. You are far prettier with a smile on your face than with a frown, so smile.” He tried to sooth her.

She looked at him and She understood that He did not want to tell her about that. So She did not push him.

The town was sleeping. There were no lights on and the only small inn had its lamps on to welcome any new guest. They crossed through the town in silence. The only sounds were the sound of the leaves moving at the rate that the wind put and the crickets singing to court the females.  Although She could not remember where She had met him before, She wished time stopped to spend more time with him.  At his side she felt secure and because of his carefree way of talking and behaving she felt refresh and calm. Moreover his smile and eyes were so familiar that they filled her with warmth and love that She had felt before in her childhood. However by each step they took, the closest they got to the plum tree and their time together was counted by each centimeter that was between them and the plum tree.

“Those almond-shaped and honey eyes… I’ve seen them before, but where? I know I’ve seen them, but He won’t tell me. Have I offended him? But how could I forget about someone so refined and beautiful?” She kept thinking and thinking trying to remember about those eyes, that She did not realize that they had arrived to where the plum tree was.

“Here” He said interrupting her thoughts.  She then saw that He was standing under the plum tree, looking firmly but at the same time dearly at her. She felt herself being hypnotized by those warm eyes and docile smile and listened carefully at what He started saying.

“…is where I met my very first love and the only one” He said and She felt a little wave of jealousy, what made her feel silly, since He did not belonged to her.

“I met her eighteen years ago” He continued “I was lying under this tree dying. A lot of people passed me and looked at me, but none of them took the time to help me. Some even ignored me. I thought that was my end and I just waited to my time to arrive.  But then she appeared and fed me and took me to her home.  I can clearly remember her big dark eyes looking at me worried and her short black hair swinging when she ran with me to her home. I think that I felt in love with her after looking at her eyes… It might sound silly, but I think that is how love works” He simpered and looked away from her eyes to hide his embarrassment.  “She took care of me until I was healthy and strong enough to survive on my own. But meanwhile all the days she would feed me, clean me and give me some medications to help me get better. She would wake up, dress up, prepare to go to school and then say good bye to me before leaving. The first thing she would do after coming back from school would be telling me about her day at the school and about her friends, teachers and exams she passed. She would tell me about her crushes, about her problems and I would just look at her crying and cuddle her to cheer her up. She would smile at me with her eyes full of tears and my heart would just crush at seeing her so vulnerable and being so helpless. But there were also really good moments, when we would lay next to each other and listen to the cicadas singing or at the rain embracing the entire town. It all happened on spring. That is why it is my favorite season. I can say that this time has been the happiest one of my entire life” He said and for a moment closed his eyes to remember about that time. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was stunned and paralyzed. She was speechless and for a moment He seemed to smile sadly at her loss for words.

“As the time passed I recovered and grew. We both understood that I could not be longer at her side, that I had to leave and continue my life as I had done before. So she took me to the mountains to let me go, but I did not want to live her side so I did not move when she put me on the ground. She told me to go away to where I used to live, but I did not want to. I already loved her and all I wanted to do was to stay by her side, whenever it was a good or bad day. I wanted to be there when she needed me and to share the happy moments together, but it was no longer possible. She started running away from the place and I followed her. She saw me and then started throwing at me rocks and everything she found on the floor to scare me. However I kept following her until I saw her crying. She told me to leave her alone, to do not make our farewell so difficult, because I knew that we could not be together anymore. I then stopped following her and saw her running away from where I was.” He said and when He looked at her, He saw that She had tears on her eyes. “Nevertheless” He continued “that was not the last time I saw her. The first month I tried to forget about that time, but it only made me feel depressed and unable to keep my chores as a God. The only thing I kept thinking was about her. Whether she ate correctly, whether she felt good, whether she had someone to listen to her problems, whether she was happy or not. I decided to pay her a visit and that is how I started checking on her every day and knowing about her life. And it lasted for a long while until I had to leave, because my superiors asked me to meet them. I spend the most tiring and frustrating years of my life, because they asked me to do some little chores as my practice and I was not able to see her. And just a year ago they chose a wife for me. I tried to refuse, but they say that otherwise I will be expel from Heaven. I would leave everything for her, but I have subordinates that believe in me and that are waiting for me so I decided to come back to tell her about my feelings. I want to thank her for let me savour what life is, what love is and to thank her for all those moments we made together and that will fill my heart till my end. I want to tell her my feelings and how much I love her, before anything, so that I could keep going and fulfill all my duties as I should do and to be able to look at her proudly as a worthy God.” He paused once again and looked at her more intensively. That made her flushed “Thank you very much and… I love you” He said to her with the sweetest smile He could give her and retaining his sadness of this last moment they will share ever again.

She was mesmerized and by the time She realized about it, she was crying. She had remembered at last where She had met him.

“Are you….Are you that little fox I saved when I was six? The one I took care and saved? Are you?” That was all she managed to say. How could she had not recognize him? He was her life for two long years and never forgot about him, but now that She saw him She was not able to tell who He were. “I thought I won’t ever see you again, but here you are…I came back to search for you on this plum tree each year. I never forget about you and…” She started crying so He took her on her arms and hugged her.

“I’m always crying most of the time I’m with you… Sorry, but I can’t hold my tears…” She said with a weak voice.

“It is alright. Right now I can comfort you so you can cry all you want here. But I did not wish to make you cry.  I just wanted you to know how I feel before I go back to my weeding and to become a God worthy your attention and someone you can be proud of” He assured her.

“I don’t want you to go. When I saw you there standing on the signs I knew you weren’t human and when I saw you I knew I had met you before. Although the time we had spent was so short you always fill me with warmth and peace. Right now I felt really refresh and happy. I even wished time to stop. I really don’t want you to go. I once let you go, because I wasn’t allowed to keep you. But now I can have you… “ She said while looking at his eyes. She perfectly knew that He had come to say good bye, but she did not want to leave him go. Not again.

He smiled sadly at her and kissed her on her forehead “I am sorry indeed. However I have already promised my superiors that I will come back and do as they asked me, so that you could be proud of me. I cannot break my promise” He said painfully holding her close. “I am really sorry… Really, really sorry”

They hold each other for a long while. She kept crying and He just embraced her with all his might. When She finally calmed down they separate each other faces so that they could look at their eyes.

“When do you have to come back?” She asked with a hoarse voice from crying.

“I said I will be here until spring finishes” He answered cleaning her pink wet face as if He was touching something fragile.

“So that gives us just this one night?” She asked with a rather optimistic voice after a short moment of hesitation.

“I guess so” He answered vaguely.

“So what are we waiting for?” She said with the biggest smile she could give him and separate from him walking a little father from him holding his hand.  He was shocked at her change of mood, but then He realized about what She was doing.

“Yes, what are we waiting for?” He repeated her question smiling to himself.

“Right now we have to enjoy all the time left we have! So come on, I’ll show you around and tell you all about myself and vice versa” She said intertwining her hand with his.

Both of them kept walking and talking about their selves. They laughed, smiled and enjoyed themselves under that spring moonlight and the sweet essence of the cherry blossom until dawn came and they had to separate from each other forever.  

One, two, three.... FIGHT!

Sincerely I had a better idea of what I wanted to write yesterday in the morning, but since I was going to school I couldn't. I even don't know where to start, though I have a  need to write about it, so here it is.

Lately I've been thinking about what does live means and what's our purpose as a man in the world. I had already asked this myself a pair of years ago, but just not a long time ago I had to read the second world's war's literature (or literature about people that lived during the second war)  and I finally came with a conclusion, that maybe not all of you may accept, yet I'll write about this since I have the urge to write about it. So well, our main reason in the world ( I say world not life) is just the same as another being living on the planet Earth, and it is surviving and keeping our kind alive. However the man needs a purpose, a goal to try to keep going. And that's what makes us different than the rest of the living things in the planet. Sorry if you don't like my way of thinking, but that's my conclusion. We as humans live and not only exist, we get to understand and enjoy the beauty the planet Earth gives us and consequently we see the bad things and suffer from them. I might say that since we ate the apple of the wisdom we enjoy and endure in the same time.

So what's the difference between living and existing? Existing is just about keeping all our needs satisfied as sleeping, eating, sex (keeping our race alive) and going to the bathroom. In the other hand living is pretty much different and way more complicated. I think that you need to have a goal and to get a feeling from everything you do to be able to live. It can be happiness, sadness, anger, enthusiasm... The feeling might defer, but as long as you experience one of them, you are living. So you have to feel, what for us humans is nothing we can't do, and you have to have a goal. Of course everyone wants to live a  happy life and we all search for something that will bring it, but as I said before, each human has a different way of seeing the things, therefore each person has a different way to achieve their goal, their happiness... Some people might think that their goal is leaving something after them to show that they lived, some might think that just living the present is everything and some others might think having a family and to be surrounded by the ones they love is their purpose. The list is huge, million of goals of every kind, as if you were in a candy store where you see sweets of every colors and flavors. Nevertheless this variety can cause more difficulties to some people that have already a problem in finding their purpose in live. Personally I think that each of us has more than one goal we want to achieve, and if you belong to the last group I mentioned I can give you a tip to find one- You ought to analyze the things you enjoy doing and search something related to them and then maybe you'll find something interesting you want to achieve. Sometimes it just falls from the sky, but rarely. Better search for it.

Well, you have a goal you want to achieve. First step- Done! However, as much as it hurts, life doesn't always go as we plan and in our way of achieving our goal there appear obstacles we have to overcome. And that's when the cruel and fun part of  life begins. When you stand before an obstacle you look for a way of over-passing it, so that you can continue your journey. You can meet with two possibilities: The first one you try and succeed so you keep going, or the second one you try and  fail, so you stay in the same place. The last option is the cruel part of life. The fun one is whether you have the guts to stand up and keep trying. I can fairly say that must of us is scared of the second option, since facing failure is not something we wish for, because it shows we lack something. And also this is the most difficult part of life, because here is when you prove how much capable you are and how far you can go to your accomplish your purposes. I admire the people that over passed their obstacle at the first try, but I  admire far more the ones that failed and kept trying till they over passed it. Those kind of people are the ones that really have the power to change and control their lives. They fight their fears and overcome them. They don't let the world direct their lives and limit their possibilities. But there also exist those kind of people that they don't even try because they are just to scare to even do that. Of course I won't say that having "failure" as an option is really tempting, but I got to know (by the bad way) that you lose far more don't trying than trying. When you try you can succeed or if you fail you have the satisfaction that at least you tried and you aren't a coward. Moreover the best thing is that you won't be asking yourself "what would have happened if I had tried?". Believe me,  I once "restrained" myself and didn't do something, because I was too scared of failing and you know what? Later I got to know that I could have achieve my goal, If only I had tried, but because of my cowardice I didn't.

I think that facing each obstacles, fears and overcoming them, are what live means. After you over passed these difficulties you have these feeling of achievement, of greatness, because you did something that was really challenging for you  and you achieved what you had been longing for. Furthermore, you are able to control your life, you aren't restrained to do things you want... you're kind of invincible! Certainly there are situations, where the decision is not only yours and you have to know when to give up, but of course after you had tried. Always try to fight for your goals, because you never know what can happen!

And that's all I want to say to all of you, but also for all of you that feel too weak and powerless to even try, please don't give up. Don't let yourself be guided by the world, because you won't be doing what you want and as I explained that means you won't be living but just existing. As humans we are weak creatures, that need the help of another human. So you always can ask your closest friends, family or lover(s) to support you. I'm pretty sure they won't deny. But that doesn't mean you have to be dependent of them, just having one person that believes in you, when you don't, is really helpful. Life is not easy, not at all, I'd rather say it's the most difficult thing there is, but there's a saying: "the more difficult something is, the more worthy". Don't you think maybe that's true?

So that's all now. Thank you for reading me and I hope I had given you a little bit of a kick to face your fears!

Apple here and apple there are not the same...

In someways I regret not writing about it before, but I didn't have the time to spare to this matter. Therefore I'm writing now that I have the liberty to do it.

To start I would like to mention that I'm pretty mesmerized about the fact, that despite living in the same planet, each country, region and group has its own way of celebrating the same events. When I came to Poland I had no idea about which kind of country I was going to see, but when my mom mentioned that this is a catholic country I expected familiars traditions and way of behaving. However my expectations were not exactly what I thought they would be and I experienced new things.

I will write about them based on Jesus life, meaning that not since January, but since December. I have to mention that I'm not catholic, nevertheless living in these countries has taught me their traditions, that sincerely I find as a great time to spend with the family in harmony. Also these are  ways of celebrating I have had the chance to celebrate, so basically I'll write about how a common pole or mexican without being really religious spend theses days. I won't be really detailed, because the differences are so big I won't need to be so detailed. Saying this... let's begin!

DECEMBER

So everything started with Maria being pregnant and Jose searching for a place to stay at night. In Mexico everyone meet in the beginning of the month of December to imitate this event. The people gathered at this festivity divide into two groups, in which one represents Maria and Jose looking for a shelter and the other one, the ones that invite them to stay at home. They sing while acting and when finally the group representing Maria and Jose come inside the house a little party is thrown in which traditionally you're welcome with sweet bread and hot chocolate or atole (hot chocolate with corn flour.... For me very delicious). By this time under your Christmas tree you're supposed to have a Jesus birth. When Maria and Jose get inside your home, you place under the barn two figurines representing them. This event is called "posada". In Poland there's no such a thing as "posada".

Now the next thing that happens is the birth of Jesus meaning almost everyone's favorite celebration- Christmas Eve! In Mexico it's celebrated just one day. Everyone dresses elegant and the family meet the 24th of December to go to the mass and after coming back home they dine really delicious dishes. Some of them, that are traditional in my family, are "Pierna hawaina" (pork drowned in pineapple's juice and caramel), turkey and "bacalao" ( Atlantic cod drowned in tomatoes sauce, olives, almonds and chilli ). The dinner last till the dawn. The presents are given and open the next day, because Saint Claus is meant to don't be seen by the children (everything is a product of the kid's imagination). That day in your Jesus birth clipart a naked Jesus baby appears. In the other hand in Poland this festivity lasts three days! " Wigilia" it's the 24th of December. The family gather to go to the mass and eat lunch/dinner. This day you're not allowed to eat red meat and anything sweet, so in the table are served only dishes non- red meat and no candies. On the table have to be 12 different dishes that symbolize each apostle Jesus had. It is said that if you try all of them, the next year is going to be prosperous ( I can't confirm that, because after eating four of them I've got enough. My record is seven dishes... and I almost exploded. Never ever again!). Some of the traditional dishes are "pierogi z grzybami i kapusta oraz z serem" ( dumplings with mushrooms and cabbage or with cheese), barszcz (soup made of only beetroot), śledź w oleju lub wodzie (herring in oil or water... Personally I detest them). Also in the table there is one more plate and sit than the number of the participants. This is done for if an unexpected guest show at the house. After eating a member of a family dresses like Saint Claus and gives the presents concluding the first day. The next two days since the breakfast everyone meet and start eating meal that include red meat. A really traditional and polish dish is "bigos" ( cabbage with sausages and more things... Once again I'm not really found of it). And of course you just sit and eat the whole two days. In my family there are always mountains of food. We're like 10 members and the quantity of food that is served could feed a whole army... The worse is that you always finished eating, whether your stomach is full or not. But despite that I really enjoy this festivity.

JANUARY

The next date is "The Three King's Day" the 6th January. In Mexico we celebrate giving gifts in the morning and in the night there's a meeting to cut and eat the " rosca de Reyes" ( a sweet bread in the shape of a crown to symbolize the kings ), which have inside a little doll that represents Jesus. The person who gets this doll make a party in the 2nd of February - Día de la candelaria (I'll explain later). Hot chocolate and mistela (a traditional alcoholic drink with honey) are served. In the Jesus birth clipart people put the three kings around Jesus, representing their arrival.There's a mass before it. In Poland this is a more quiet celebretation. In the morning gifts are given, but really rarely ( till now I've met just one person that receives presents in this day). There's a mass. Sometimes the priest gives you a chalk or he personally come to your house to write in your door the K+M+B and the new year (the initials are of the three Kings) to represent that they were at your home in the year written.

FEBRUARY

The next one is the "Día de la Calendaria" which is only celebrated in Mexico the 2nd of February. As I mentioned before, the lucky or rather unlucky person who got the doll of the "rosca de Reyes" makes a party to sit and dress the naked Jesus that was borned in the 24th of December. The host buy traditional tamales ( regional dish made of corn flour) to eat and drinks. This is a really important meeting. Getting Jesus dressed is even a profession in my hometown.

MARCH/APRIL & MAY/JUNE

The next event are the fourty days before the Holy Week. In Mexico we celebrate on Sunday "Domingo de Ramos" - Palm Sunday and on Wednesday " Miércoles de ceniza"- Holy Wednesday. People in these days go to a mass to prepare for the Holy Week. When the Holy Week comes the parties start. On the Maundy Thursday and the Good Friday people go to a mass and in the Holy Saturday a big event takes place It's called "la quema de Judas". This is an event where a huge piñata ( a toy? originally made of clay full of sweets) is fulled with fireworks and burned to represent the fall of the traitor Judas. This celebration is made in a big scale and it's fun to watch it ( I used to go to a town near my hometown, where these "Judas"were burned in the center of the town and the view was pretty). In Poland it is different. Fourty days before the Holy Week there are for three days masses called "rekolecje", that prepares the people to the Holy Week. In the Maundy Thursday - Tłusty czwartek people eat masses of pączkis ( kind of donuts ), because they are supposed to make a post between this Thursday and the Holy Week and don't eat sweets or red meat (personally I don't follow this tradition). When Holy Week comes, people go to a mass with a basket with eggs, bread, salt, sausages or jam and some "mazurek" ( sweet polish bread). In the church they are blessed and after that the family go back to home, where they eat the things that were blessed in the church to have a good year. There a meal is served. A traditional dish is żurek (polish traditional soup .... I really love it!) and once again you will to your hearts content, and literally sayin to your "hearth's" content and no  stomach, because you end up eating like a pig. After sixty days there's a mass called "Boże Ciało" to conclude this festivity.

NOVEMBER

The last one and my favorite it's All Saint's Day. In Mexico people prepare an altar, where are put the photos of the beloved ones that have left this world. Also you can find the favorite dishes of the deceased on the altar, so that when they visit, they will eat their favorite food. The first of November people go to the cemetery to visit the tombs of their dead family and to eat and celebrate their coming in big. Some sleep, dance, eat and drink till the dawn of the next day. This days though, it is said that the souls of the dead children come to visit, so in consequence to that the kids dress a terrifying costume, so that the dead children can't be feared and ask for sweets to everyone. After that the kids come back at home, where parents wait for them and a party it's thrown. The second day is when the souls of the children live and when the adults ones come. The people stay at home and spend the day in family. The next day the souls leave and the altar its gone. This festivity it's a really sad one in Poland. People go to the cemetery to clean the tombs of their dead relatives and pay them a visit. After that they go to a mass and eat in family. It is rather a really sad and depressing way of celebrating it. People are really quiet and serious. No one laughs. This way of celebrating really saddens me, but fortunately I keep the mexican tradition at home, so I spend a great time.

To conclude I would like to say that it really surprises me that in spite of being both of them, Mexico and Poland, Catholics countries and supposed to have the same traditions, they celebrate them in a completely different way. But that's not just it. No matter which religion or nationality, each place or group of people has its own culture and history what characterize them as an entity. This shows that the world is composed of very different and interesting entities. You not necessary need to go to the other part of the world to see something new, like it happened to me, but just by going to your neighbor's house you see another world than the one you know. Our world... better said planet, is full of different entities that make it a really interesting place to live always discovering new things hence never getting bored!

Meeting one of my biggest enemy and friend in life!

Today I'm going to write the same article I wrote for my polish lesson, but in English. It is about the first time I have to deal with the polish language. It had to be about 300 words, but I wrote way more than that.I hope you enjoy this one.

If I had to say when was the first time I heard the Polish I ought to come back, when my stepfather went to visit Mexico with a colleague of his. I was around 13 years old and the first thing that came to my mind was that Polish was like a language of whispers and even once I said something using the sound of "sh" and I said a word in Polish. I was quite astonished, because I didn't expect to say something it polish, my stepfather was the same as me and even asked me if I knew polish to which I replied "No".  I used to break my head trying to catch at least one word, but always fruitless. Anyway as an any other curious person that meets a foreigner I asked my stepfather and his colleague to tell me how to greet in polish. My jaw dropped after listening to the word "cześć". I mean greeting it's supposed to be easy to say and remember and not something too difficult to say... Thanks to my ingenious mind (as I thought at that time )I put together the word chess from English with the sound "che" from Spanish. In that way I managed somehow to remember and say it. The next word I learned was "dziękuję"- thank you. This one was like something not from our planet.  I wasn't even able to pronounce it. Neither in Spanish, English nor French exist the sound of "dzi", so I was in a really difficult situation... I didn't know how to remember the world, but suddenly I associated the word "chinkuya", which in Spanish is a really delicious fruit ( I really love it ) and somehow I learned how to thank. It didn't sound exactly the same, but at least whenever I wanted to thank to my stepfather or his colleague, they understood me (or at least they pretended). By that time I didn't imagine what was expecting me.

When I came to Poland I was shocked because of three facts. The first one was that the letter "v" was replaced by "w", the "w" by a weird l - "ł" and another 6 or 7 letters exist, which pronounce I couldn't. I clearly remember how much I was crying, when my very first homework of polish was learning how to pronounce all of them and remembering them. I was so powerless and devastated that I couldn't say all of them that I was crying till my nose became red and my head start hurting... That was the first time I cried because of the Polish and unfortunately not the last. The second thing that in Polish exist, are these called "przypadki" - cases (I'm not sure if this is the correct translation of it). Although in my whole 13 years I never had heard about it, I was told that in every language they exist, but that in the Polish you have to conjugate the noun depending of the "przypadek".... I've been living in Poland for almost 5 years and I still can't recognize each of them and how to conjugate the noun, what makes me frustrated and angry. Despite that I really love having these "przypadki", because they make Polish more challenging and interesting. My favorite "przypadek" it's the "dopełniacz", because I know when I'm supposed to use it and how to conjugate the nouns. The less is "biernik" since I keep mistaking it with the "mianownik", which it is said to be the easiest one, but it seems that's not true or at least not for me. The next fact that made my eyes pop out of my head was that I was told that Polish is one of the most difficults languages in the whole world. When I heard about it I wanted to pack my whole things and buy a ticket back to Mexico. However I didn't do it, because I didn't want to leave my mom alone in a foreign country and me living without her in Mexico (Yeah... I kind a have a mother complex)

Wherever I went I was always surrounded by people talking to me in Polish. There were some that spoke to me in English and even in Spanish, but if you live in a specific country, it is obvious that the people will talk in the national language, so just after coming to Poland my mom and me started going to intensive Polish lessons. They lasted two months and sincerely I learned a lot, but as always I knew more how to talk than I understood. I started attending to a polish junior high school. There Polish could have been a problem, If it wasn't for my teachers the helped me with it. They allowed me to express myself in English or they explained me the things I didn't get in English. I really really I'm grateful to them. If it wasn't for them I don't know where I would be standing right now. The Polish with my stepfather's family was pretty comic. Due to their bad English and my bad Polish we were forced to communicate using the language of our bodies- mimic. I have a really vivid memory of one time, when my "babunia" (my stepfather's mom) tried to explained me the word honey. She started imitating a huge bear and then pretended to eat something. I remember that I was laughing pretty loud, but the same went whenever I tried to explain myself to them. We used to have a great time doing it. In the streets thing weren't that easy. I still have the image of this lady from which, my mom and me bought tickets to the bus. That happened just after we came to Poland, so as expected our pronunciation and Polish were really bad . The lady was so irritated that we couldn't say twenty in Polish- dwadzieścia (really difficult for any foreigner, but not like the number three - trzy). When we got to explained ourselves, the lady threw our tickets at us, started complaining and I'm pretty sure she even started cursing us. I'm quite relived that at that time I didn't understand what she said. Another thing that makes me laugh is at how my mom and me used to make the shopping. We always used to pay with banknotes of 50 zł or 100 zł and wait to the rest to know how much we usually had payed. I know it's a reckless thing to do, but it was the only way we came with at that time.

If my memory serves me correctly, I started speaking fluently in Polish after nine months, when I went to a camp with my cousin (my stepfather's niece). There nobody knew how to talk in English or in Spanish, so I was cornered and forced to speak in Polish. I don't complain, because thanks to that I was able to speak without any fear and without changing to English after two or three words like I used to do with my teachers, friends or stepfather. My mom says that when I came back from that camp I was like a parrot, because my mouth wouldn't stop moving. That was the first time I felt really happy with something that was involved with speaking in Polish. I was very proud of myself.

I won't lie and say that Polish is an easy language, because it isn't (it has a lot of exceptions and too less rules) and I didn't suffer at all. I had and still have headaches from time to time, because my mind exhaustes from listening to it and forcing myself to understand (sometimes I even can't talk correctly in any language), I cried a lot, because I didn't understand anything at school or in the streets, I cursed and use to hate Polish, since it was the cause of my suffering and complicating my life and even considered going back to Mexico. But exactly that's what Polish is about! When I started understanding what the people said to me or started recognizing when and how I had to conjugate the noun I felt really proud of myself and kind of invincible. I've been living almost for five years in Poland and my Polish is far from perfect, but little by little I'm getting better at the language that made me cried and suffer a lot of times. And that exactly is what makes Polish so interesing, funny and worth learning, because I know that when I will have mastered it, I will feel amazing, I will have overcame myself and became a better and stronger person, I will have won the battle between Polish and me, between the difficulties of life and myself!